Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize