I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize