if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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