Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
