Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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