i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dear god my vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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