At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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