I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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