I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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