Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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