dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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