Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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