yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the liver wants what the liver wants
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize