You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
