but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
