im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao