A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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