why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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