girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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