Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
