my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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