i may or may not be watching the land before time
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
