i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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