OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
