I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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