She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im having a threesome with these popsicles
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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