Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize