went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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