Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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