It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
