i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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