Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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