Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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