Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
