he fucked my hip out of place.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
