i think my tv is drunk
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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