i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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