4 words: hood of his car
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
