we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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