I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
