OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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