So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
