People in love make me want to vomit
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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