i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize