i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize