I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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