it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
In America we eat man semen.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
