literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
