How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
