why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
