so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize