I just made out with a guy for $7.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
