Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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