were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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