i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
