Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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