If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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