I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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