HIV tests are more positive than that guy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
